My first love (song from Avant)

Friday, January 18, 2008

Hey blogger fam, sorry for being MIA, had so much to do the last couple of days that I haven't had he time to come on and write. But the craziest thing happened a couple of days ago. I got the strangest email from someone who I thought I would never hear from again. It was one of those emails that you have to read twice to make sure that you're not missing anything. The email was from my ex-boyfriend, my first love (sidebar : I quietly I begin to humm the song from avant). When I first opened up my email inbox I deleted all the spam that wasn't phished out, but then I recognized a name that literally made me say "OH SHIT." I had to really look at the name to make sure that it wasn't a mistake... but it really was from him. From SLY! Sly and I dated for 2 years after High School. And those 2 years were the stepping stones to years of uncertinty and mistrust for men. See while Sly and I dated he decided it was a right time to cheat on me.. not once but twice with the same girl. My friend, or rather some chick who I thought was my friend. He had gone off to the army (3 year stint) and I stayed here to go onto college, but during that time we decided to continue with our relationship despite what my friends said about not having it work because of the long distance. I found out that he had cheated on me when my friend told me that she and him had "hooked up" unbeknownst to her that he and I were dating. I felt betrayed so when he wrote his first note to me from his base in Texas, I tore into that ass and told him where to go and put that penis of his and to never get into contact with me. I couldn't believe the a**hole had the nerve to do that. I was a virgin at the time and I didn't want to give it up that quickly, but he couldn't wait, he didn't want to leave NY without some kind of vaginal penetration so he had to put it where it fit. The story of Sly and I went back to several years.

We had first met in elementary school. He claims that he doesn't remember me, but with a name like Sly (not sylvester)I couldn't forget him. After graduating from the same parochial school we ended up at the same h.s for reasons unknown. That year (1995) I remember walking onto my school's campus and having him tell me that this was where he was going to go. I thought "oh great I will be with this kid for another 4 years of my life." As we went through high school we ended up having the same friends, we hung out in the same locker area. Then, things started to change. He was dating random girls and I found myself getting jealous. He had gotten so cute and I wanted to be one of the girls that he dated. But I never did, and then the unthinkable happened... I hooked him up with the girl he dated for the majority of the time we had in H.S. During the end of our sophmore year of High School I introduced him to my friend Jessica. Though he knew who she was he wasn't aware of her feelings for him. Needless to say they started dating because of me. I felt like an idiot because I set up the boy that I like with my friend but I wasn't going to tell him that.

As they dated he and I got closer. Then one day while listening to an Usher song he told me that he had feelings for me. Remember the song "You make me wanna" by Usher and he would say that, that song was us totally.
He said that the second verse was exactly how he felt.

Now what's bad Is you’re the one that hooked us up Knowing it should've been you
What's sad is I love her but I'm falling for you

What should I do should I Tell my baby bye-bye
Should I? Do exactly what I feel inside
Cause I… I don't wanna go
Don't need to stay

But I really need to get it together

You make me wanna leave the one I'm with (oh baby)
Start a new relationship with you
This is what you do Think about her and the things that come along with
You make me
You make me wanna leave the one I'm with (oh baby)
Start a new relationship with you

This is what you do
Think about her and the things that come along with
You make me
You make me

Needless to say they broke up and we dated. Actually he was my prom date and she was left High and DRY.. Yes I know I am a bad friend I'm sorry... I was trying to move on but I couldn't because I wanted to be with him like crazy. Though our relationship didn't last as long as I thought it was going to I loved him (he was too much of a mama's boy, homeboy had the audacity to tell me that if we were to ever get married his mother would live with us in the same house.. yeah people... I was like HELL TO THE NO) He was my first love and to get an email from was a total shocker. The email wasn't anything too interesting, just a foward, but it still took me by surprise. I had to email him back and ask him what he had been up to since we last spoke. Which so happen to have been 5 years prior. (he had a habit of popping up when he thought I was with someone, and like an idiot I would go back to him because I had some odd notion that he and I belonged together.) I had to ask him how things were and to see if he was still the mama's boy that I thought he was. Needless to say his curiosity peaked and he responded.. again just the same old familiarities... about the parents and of course if I'm married or dating. He didn't go into detail but I already knew that he was dating someone. I knew that he had been with his current girl for sometime now.. but was I going to ask.. HELL NO!!

At the end of our conversation I just sat and wondered about us. I thought about what could have been and asked myself if I would've been happy being with him. Sly was cheap, an irresponsible. He was too much of a mama's boy, and he was so self absorbed. Though he was my first love and though I thought that he and I would be together forever, life has taught me a very valuable lesson, Not everything is what you think it is at first glance.


MsKnowitAll said...

well, well, well... you got some nerve showing your face around here... LOL - welcome back! you were greatly missed!
now on to sly... my question is why did you even respond back to him if all he did was forward an email? is it because he was your 1st and he'll always have a hook in ya? hmmm

Liryc said...

LOL.. I'm sorry to have been gone for so long but you know there has been so many new things going on, on this side..many of which I haven't even begun to write about.. but anywhoooo..

The reason that I responded to his email was because I hadn't heard from him in forever, and I was kind of curious to see what he was up to. It was something that was plaguing me when it came to him. It was like he decided to drop off the face of the earth with no real reason. As for having a hook on me.. NAH.. not even! I'm so over him.. he was like so 5 years ago. LOL

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