Friend Zone

Monday, June 16, 2008

Question? Have you ever been placed in the "friend zone" after you've started talking to a guy that you found to be interesting? What I mean is, you and a guy that you like, and by like I mean you want to get to know on a more personal level begin to talk on a regular basis, the conversations are stimulating and you're able to converse with him about a multitude of things. You and him talk about sports and cars and all the things that "guys" like and all of a sudden you see that the passion that was there has started to dwindle and that the person that you used to like has become a good male friend instead of a love interest.

This has happened to me on several occasions. There would be a guy that I like and he would have the greatest conversation skills. We would begin to talk and then the question of things that I liked to do would come up. I would tell him and when the topic of sports came up he would automatically go insane because I knew stats and other things that most of my female friends wouldn't know. This would lead to hours and hours of conversation which I thought was a good thing, until weeks pass by and the getting to know you and dates no longer come up and all of a sudden your conversations begin and end with trash talk.
There was this one guy that I started talking to and he would talk to me everyday. I thought it was going good because of the constant conversations, but at the end he would tell me that reminded him of his friend instead of a girl that he was interested in. This pisses me off so much. I get so upset with it because of the fact that I was looking for someone to be with instead of someone to add to my friends list. I don't need anymore male friends. I don't need anymore guys to add to my friends list. If that was what I was looking for there would be no reason for me to give you my phone number. But, unfortunately enough for me that wasn't what happened!
I had to really get to the bottom of this situation because if this continued I'd have a multitude of male friends instead of a real boyfriend. I had to ask one of my many male friends what the deal was.
Me : Dre why don't guys want to be with me in a girlfriend way after I tell them I'm into sports?
Dre: Because you're not a real girl
Me: WTF????
Dre: Seriously, the reason is because in the beginning the guy just wanted to have sex with you, but when he realized that you were so cool they don't want to take advantage of you
Me: Are you serious?
Dre: Yeah, guys are like this. If he was interested before he just probably wanted to just sleep with you but after he started talking to you and getting to know you and found that you had a brain and knew sports his instant erection went away and he doesn't want to do that, cause you're a nice girl. Someone he could watch the game with, and not get distracted
Me: hmmmmm, thanks dre
Why is that if a female can talk the same things a guy can and is interested in a lot of the same things that he is, why must she be placed in the friend zone. How do you get yourself out of being put in the friend zone. Many of my female friends have not ever been put in the friend zone. They have never had to deal with the rejection that I had to endure because of my love for quarters and innings and periods. Many of them had never had to have the talk about just being friends.
Was this just happening to me? This is not possible. There is no way that I was the only one that was placed in the "friend zone" I don't believe that I was the only one. I asked my friend KP and she let me know that she was also put in the friend zone a couple of times. This had to be some kind of parallel universe. My friend KP was an awesome woman, why would any guy put her in the friend zone. I'm a bit upset because this guy that I was talking to I wanted to be with and thought that something was really going to happen, but instead I'm in the friend zone. UGH, life..this sucks

1 comment:

MsKnowitAll said...

Sorry sweets, even though I'm not a man, I don't believe that crap about the "friend zone".

I happen to have a couple of guys that I'm just a friend with and I have a couple of guys that are good "girlfriends". But trust that given any situation, ALL of my male friends would get down with me. The boundaries to our friendships lie with me, not them.

I suggest since this is still kinda new... ask him what does he THINK of you? after some time, ask him how does he FEEL about you? these questions should be asked prior to having sex... that is of course, if you want to have a lasting, loving relationship. but if you wanna get your pound on, by all means, ask him what's the deal and then make it to the bedroom.

perhaps he just wants answers to the same questions before he gives his heart & luvin' away...

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