Listen.. it is that SILENT!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Listen.... do you hear that?? 

If you're not to sure what I'm talking about lets try this again...

Listen.... did you hear that??

Its silent isn't it.. just your thoughts trying to decipher what it is that I'm trying to get you to hear or get you to catch on to..

Listen = silent.. You can't listen to anything if you're not silent now can you?

This little anagram says a lot, especially when it comes to relationships. Most of the time the arguments you have with your significant other is because neither of you or rather one of you isn't silent enough to listen to what the other is saying.

Ask yourself this question? Do you listen when you're being spoken to or do you continually ramble on without actually taking the time to be silent and listen to what is being said?

There is always this controversy b/w men and women when they speak. The woman in the relationship asking the man if he is listening to her and the woman not being silent enough to let the man get a word in. Sometimes they are just there to hear what the other has said.

While doing my daily blog reading I stopped over by Mr. Slish's page. He was talking about the new Steve Harvey book.  One of the comments on the posting talked about listening and silence. How the two are intertwined with one another yet no one uses them both at the same time to communicate. 

What I find is that more often times when one person is talking the other isn't really listening, they are just hearing what the other is saying and just replying by using pacifying words to stifle an argument or to just brush whatever is said off.  (VSB had a great blog about this a couple of days ago)

There is a difference between the two (hearing and listening), you can hear me out but are you listening (taking in and understanding)to what I am saying. To listen you have to be silent, and sometimes that's the problem. There is no silence when you're cutting me off to ramble about the topic or problem at hand. I don't want you to hear me I want you to listen and that can't be done if you're not silent for  a moment for me to get my word out.. frustrating yet its so true to what many face in their day to day relationships. From work to school to family to personal relationships, no one is silent long enough to listen. 

But, why try to communicate then if you're not willing to be quiet long enough for me to say something, and then for you to understand what it is that I've said? Most men would say that their woman doesn't listen to them because she's to busy critiquing what he's saying and not giving him a chance to speak, and the woman in turn is saying that the man isn't listening to her so why should she be silent?!?  The key to any relationship working is communication. There needs to be open lines of communication b/w you and you're other for the relationship to work, but how can that be possible one isn't giving the other the chance to be able to be heard and the communication process is one sided? Are you one of those who just talks and doesn't take the time to listen??

I can honestly say that I've fallen into that category a couple of times, not listening because I wanted to get my point across. I think many of us have had moments where we weren't silent enough to listen to what our spouse or significant other had to say, because we either didn't want to listen or we felt that what we had to say was more important to the relevancy of the conversation. 

So, again I ask, how can you communicate effectively if you're not quiet? How can you seriously hold a conversation with someone and try to resolve any issues if you're not silent enough to listen to what that person has to say. There needs to be a happy medium and I think that silence is what it is. The old saying is that "silence is golden" and I think its the truth. Many fights could have been avoided if one of the parties involved just took the time out to be silent and listen to the other had to say.  

So ladies and gentleman, the next time you and your significant other have an argument or you're about to have an argument, ask yourself this "do I really want to sit here for hours hearing this person talk in my head or do I want to take the time out to listen to what they have to say and know that after this is said and done we can move and not have to discuss this anymore?"

choice is yours.. I think you know which is the better choice!


MsKnowitAll said...

Excellent post Missy!

I know I'm guilty of not listening and not being silent.

This is a life lesson. Thank you.

clnmike said...

Good post, silence is golden.

Kofi Bofah said...

This is REal Talk.

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