Growing up ain't easy!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Do you ever find yourself growing away from those who've you've known for a long time? People who have known you since you could barely walk are now not the people who you want to hang with and be with anymore cause your direction isn't the same as theirs, but the sad thing is that they don't understand your personal growth and they take it as a personal stab at them and they say things that make you think that you're growing up and they're not.

Well this is my dilemma. My family and I are very very close, some of us are best friends even, but lately I feel like I'm growing apart and growing up from them and they are being very hard on me for wanting to grow up and take a new direction in my life. Should I feel bad that I'm growing away? Should I stay around them and not evolve as person and make decisions for myself?

If you know me, as in KNOW ME, KNOW ME, you know that I am the go to person in anything familial. I am the person who gives money, or gives assistance or the person to borrow things from. I am the person who goes to parent teacher meetings, who checks homework, who reads over papers and everything else because I'm the eldest. But as I am nearing my 30's I am trying to make things more about me and less about them and guess what, I'm getting shyt for it.

When I mean getting shyt for it I'm hearing that I leave my old friends for my new ones, and I dont' want to do this cause I have new people in my life, and I think I'm this and I think I'm that and blah blah blah... Its not that I think I'm anything its that I feel like I don't need to take care of GROWN PEOPLE anymore, and I have to take care of me. I want to experience life for what it is. Don't get me wrong I love my family members but I feel like I am used most of the time. When they need to borrow something who do they call? ME! when they need something done who do they call? ME. When they need a job who do they ask? ME. When they can't do anything who do they run to? ME.. its always NELLY CAN I, or NELLY CAN YOU, or NELLY I NEED, or NELLY CAN I HAVE, or NELLY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN.. and when I need something who do I call..................... NO ONE!! I do it myself...

I'm learning that I really can't count on anyone (please don't take offense some of you who read this are my really good friends and I love you but you know what I mean) I have me myself and I (after God and mom that is) and to make it I have to distance and put myself first and everything will work out, or at least I hope that is what happens.

Growing up is really tough, and sometimes the ones you love are the ones that don't understand. I hope in time they learn, and I hope that by the time their 30 they see what I meant.


Azure said...

First off WoW, Second, I couldn't've said It better myself! Felt like you were speaking about me! Lol

Thanks for stopping by my place and leaving ur presence afterwards.

Ms. Behaving said...

I know EXACTLY what you mean...

The bottom line is you can only do but so much before you gotta let go and let em' fend for themselves.

One day [perhaps when the shoe is on the other foot] they'll get where you were coming from.

The Incomparable Shakespeare said...

I see I said. My big thing lately is reciprocity. I feel like my generosity is blatantly being taken advantage of. I wouldn't change who I am for anyone, but when people are selfish and aren't willing to return the favor, I get angry. "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

Somethin Special... said...

Amen Amen... Never apologise for growing older and wiser. Not even to those closest to you. I have two sisters and I am the middle girl. When I was younger I was EXTREMELY close to my younger sister and our cousin who was also her age. As I got older and learned to make better decisions we grew apart. I love my sister like cook food as well as my cuzin. But we no longer refer to ourselves as the 3 MuskeSears(Ya know.. like Musketeers.. but I digress) You cannot stunt your own growth to wait for others to catch up. You can sit and try to explain that your trying to work on betterment of self but... They either get it or they don't. Fly high soRHOr...

StarrBURST! said...

I so feel where you are coming from. You are voluntarily placed in a myriad of positions that family just EXPECT you to do just because you're family and when you decide to put your foot down about it, they run guilt trips on you. Sometimes I feel like even if the shoe was on the other foot for some, they still wouldn't understand. Continue to do what's best for YOU. You can't be all things to everybody and they have to realize that.

Blu Jewel said...

I understand how you feel and what you're going through as I've been through something similar with both friends and family. The bottom line is that you have to do what's in YOUR best interest. You have to live and experience life in a way that is conducive to your pleasure, happiness, and well-being. If you live your life for others, you'll grow to resent them.

Do what you can for them without sacrificing yourself in the process.

love to live; live to love!

Ms. Liryc said...

thanks everyone for your words I really appreciate them. I love my family, and I really mean that but they are just so used to having me around and I need to do me. I love that you all can relate.

Hope they finally understand and congratulate me instead of trying to argue and fight with me..

I will keep you posted.

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

This is a fantastice blog you have going here Miz Nelly!!
It is much the same for me......I do and do for my family and friends but where do you think they are when I need a little something???? I have to remind myself constantly that I have to do things from my heart and not expect anything in return. That's the only way that I dan not get my feelings hurt you know?
Wonderful post and a great way to release your keep it up okay? Blogging can be very therapeutic :)
Take good care and......

Steady On
Reggie Girl

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