Honesty is always the best policy

Monday, April 20, 2009

I remember blogging a while back about being honest and telling what I feel and not keeping things away from anyone, cause in the end it hurts me in addition to hurting the other person. But how many of us have been completely honest to those who we claim we love? How honest are you willing to be? Would you be honest if you knew that once you told the truth you'd have that love lost?

Yesterday when I was on my way home I bumped into an old friend from H.S. We decided to catch the train to Brooklyn together. He filled me in about his brothers (He's a triplet) told me what they were up to and how many kids each had. Said that they each had a brewd of their own, he told me that the oldest of the 3 of them had 3 of his own, and the youngest (they are a minute apart) had 3 surrogate, cause his girlfriend died he kept the 3 children she had and adopted them but doesn't have any of his own biologically, when asked how many he had he promptly told me 5. No you didn't read wrong he has 5, yes 5 babies, by 2 different women.. I mean whatever is clever but wow.. that's a lot, but what threw me for a loop wasn't that he had 5 babies at 29, what caught me off guard was that he told me that his current girlfriend of 5 years does not know about his children? No, again you didn't read wrong, his current girl soon to be wife (he's considering marriage) knows nothing of his 5 (count them 5) babies.

For lack of a better word I was fcuking shocked! I was shyt faced cause I couldn't believe that he would be with a woman that long and not tell her that he was already a father (she wants babies of her own from what he says). Is that actually possible. Can you keep something like that from someone, and if so how do you keep that a secret? I asked him how come he has never told her he says that he loves her and doesn't want to hurt her? WTH?? Nope homey you don't love her... thats impossible.. there is no way on GOD'S green earth you love her.. .I don't believe him!

How can you love someone and keep something to big away from them? He says that he tries to make her life as simple as possible because she works hard and has this career and blah blah blah... (insert confused face right here cause I'm sure as heck confused about this) He says that he tries his best to keep her away from his family, cause if she is around them they would tell her.. UGH YEAH! Cause she has every right to know. She knows he a triplet, thank God (imagine how embarrassing that would be if she ran into the other two and thought they were him.. no bueno) but she knows nothing of his 3 babies that range from 8-2! They don't live with him from what he says, his eldest lives upstate with his mom, and the other 4 live with their mom on Staten Island, while they live in Brooklyn. He tells me that if I was to ever run into them walking not to utter a word to her.. and I promptly said " My name is Joe and I don't know" I have no reason to tell her your business, but I think you should tell her, especially if she wants to give a son of her's your name and make him a junior when he'd actually be the 3rd!

How can someone keep something like this from someone they claim they love. I know I've done some not so righteous things, and told a few lies here and there, but nothing of this magnitude. I know honesty is the best policy and its better to tell the truth than to lie and then get caught in the lie. But, how to come clean about this? I Have no clue!

what to do? what to do?


Young woman on a journey said...

hi, i ran across your blog and really like it!

i think you are absolutely correct. i don't thin people need to share EVERYTHING about themselves, but things of this magnitude should not be withheld from someone you supposedly love.

Ms. Liryc said...

@ young black woman on a journey.. thanks for stopping by.. I'm glad you like.. as for my friend, I'm trying to talk him into tell his girl, but he's giving he a headache with his excuses.

Young woman on a journey said...

well, she's more likely to take it well in the beginning than right before they get married. i don't know. with something so big, one should at least have the right to know what you are about to get into.

Blu Jewel said...

I'm honest damn near all the time and tend not to censor myself. If you ask me a question, I'm going to answer it and likewise, if I ask a question I expect a truthful answer. I'd rather know the truth whether it's what I want to hear or not, at least whatever it is is in the open.

Anyhoo, what your friend has done is absolutely and completely wrong. I think it shows an extreme lack of integrity and character on his part. He's obviously not mature enough to even be in a long term relationship (though he has been) because he's unable to be truthful. I agree with Young Woman that not all needs to be revealed but something of this magnitude definitely does.

As for talking to your friend, if he's not willing to fess up, leave him to his own devices and when the proverbial hits the fan, all you do is say, "I told you so".

Love to live; live to love!

MsKnowitAll said...

Ok so not only is he lying to his fiance but he's also messing with his children's psyche (I'm serious about this stuff). Nah man!

To hell with if you see her, what if Staten Island mom is in BK or they all end up at Kings County Mall? He obviously doesn't see his kids regularly because I would question is Daddy weekends or Daddy Sundays?

This is chaos...

Azure said...


Ms. Lovely said...

OH HELL NO..5 kids..smh

Journey to my soul said...

I believe in honesty. I think People know what they are worried about or what they feel they might be judged on. If you truly want to be comfortable in your relationship or marriage. Allow the person to truly know you by showing them the good and the bad. No one is perfect and they can only truly know you if you are honest.

Mo said...

whaaaat? thats bananas! And why would he think it was a good idea to keep this from her? And what is his plan for after marriage? I mean this is something that will directly affect her so she has a right to know.

Powered by Blogger.
Theme Designed By Hello Manhattan

Your copyright

Your own copyright