NO more Ms. Nice Girl!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I think I'm finally getting help for my NICE GIRL dilemma! I have come to realize that when you're the nice girl you get shitted on more times than you can count. There is no justice for the nice girl. She isn't the one that is asked out! She isn't the one with the good looking boyfriend! Oh no..that's definitely NOT her.. Nope, she's the good looking boyfriends really good friend who so happens to be a girl. The nice girl is just that... a NICE girl. She doesn't get the title Hot Chick, or Sexy, Dimepiece, she doesn't even get the title Beautiful, none of those endearing terms that the nice girl longs for because, well because "Nice girls aren't beautiful" they are just.. well just NICE..

I have always been the nice girl. Never one to cause a raucous or to be confrontational.  I am a peace maker of sorts. I oppose anything that disrupts the zen of my surroundings. Some of my friends would tell me that being a nice girl would get me NO but I never believed them. I just thought they were crazy, so I never paid them any attention, why would anyone hate on the NICE girl.. she's too nice to be mistreated..that can never happen right? RIGHT???  I wanted to be good an nice and sweet to everyone. That was what I wanted and I decided to remain the nice girl... now that I am approaching my thirties I say EFF that! No more nice girl over here!

Nice girls never get to have any of the fun, and at this stage of my life I am all about having fun. So as I embark on a new decade I am bidding goodbye to the nice girl personae and saying hello to the BITCH!! Yes I said it.. I am going to be more of a BITCH than a nice girl.. you know why??

The bitch is the girl who has the most fun, and according to my friends and some of my family members the bitch is the one that the guys want to meet. I don't really think that is true but its up for debate, I've heard many times over that men prefer a woman whose kinda smart at the mouth, and that isn't me but It might be something that I have to look into... I might have to do an experiment or two and see if this is the case. Now you maybe asking why does she want to be a bitch, especially now??

As I see it I have spent the last 30 years of my life being the nice girl. I've always been the "GO TO" person.. Hey you need some money "GO TO.." Hey you need your papers read and corrected "GO TO..." Hey you need a car to borrow "GO TO..." you need a cell phone I know she'll do it for you if you ask just "GO TO" and most of the time, or should I say 9 times out of 10 I'd say yes to the request. I would just feel bad telling someone NO. I had some strange feeling that it would be bad karma to tell someone no when I knew that I could do it.  What I have found is that in this self-less act I've become used and abused and I've had just about enough of it. I cannot take this anymore and turning over a new leaf would suit me just fine.

Family and friends alike have taken my kindness for weakness, and at some points in my life I was weak, but not anymore. This new stage in my life has awoken something deep and hurtful in my life and I'm open to being different. I know that this is going to cause many to leave my life, and guess what.. I DON'T GIVE 2 SHITS!! (look at those cap letters.. I sound angry don't I? but actually I smiling as I type this)

I'm loving   myself more and more these days. I see my niceness as my way of coping, a defense mechanism of sorts to ensure that everyone likes me. What I realize is, not everyone is going to like me and that is Ok! If they aren't with me for the good reasons then that is on them, because I am one cool girl. I have reached my wits end with being taken advantage of. I say no more to being the "GO TO..." girl. Its not getting me anywhere but broke and upset and I can't afford to get any wrinkles on this skin, I'm only going to be 30, I have years before I have to worry about laugh lines and crows feet.

As far as being a bitch to get a man, I think I might have to do an experiment on this because I don't see it working. But hey this book says that it works. I might just have to take a closer look.


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Rae said...

you are one awesome cookie. I feel sort of the same way. I used to be a bad girl who stood up for herself, wasn't afraid of making waves, and a total bad-ass. I even had guys fawning over me.
But then after a series of unfortunate events I became the nice girl with a tendancy to please people. Now I've been single since God knows when and I'm totally unhappy.
Self-sacrificing gets old. I myself am working on getting my old luster back and renewing my shine. Good luck to you!


Janessa said...

It's so true. They always fall for the mean girls! I have been nice my whole life, and i'm getting kinda sick of it.

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Mz.Jai said...

I just happened upon your blog and I swear this is exactly how I feel right now. I'm always up for standing up for myself but, when it comes to relationships I want to make sure that they work. So, I put in the work but, I can't seem to get any of it in return. I needed this and I am finally letting go of my latest situation.

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